The mother of Tetsuya Yamagami, who is standing trial in connection with the 2022 killing of former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, told a court she feels guilty for her son¡¯s actions, saying that she herself ¡°is the perpetrator,¡± media outlets have reported.

Despite this, the mother, who appeared at the Nara District Court as a defense witness on Tuesday, said she wants to keep her faith in the Unification Church, a controversial religious group.

The church¡¯s influence on her family has become a focal point of the murder trial, as the defense hopes to portray Yamagami as a victim of child abuse as part of efforts to seek leniency.

¡°I want to keep it, if I can,¡± she told the court, as reported by Jiji Press.

The mother, who joined the group in 1991, made donations of over ?100 million, including money the family received as insurance payouts after her husband¡¯s suicide, and was eventually declared bankrupt. Yamagami has told investigators he long held a grudge against the church and targeted Abe after learning that the politician contributed a video message to a church-affiliated group.

¡°(Yamagami) is not evil by nature; he is a gentle child,¡± the mother reportedly told the court. ¡°If I had dealt with him properly, the attack would not have taken place.¡±

The mother has also admitted that, when the defendant attempted suicide in 2005 while serving with the Maritime Self-Defense Force, she was in South Korea, where the religious group is based. She did not head back to Japan immediately upon learning about the attempted suicide, however, because she ¡°heard a voice from God not to go back,¡± according to her reported testimony.

After that incident, Yamagami¡¯s uncle protested the church and had ?50 million of the donated money returned, the mother said. While part of that money was paid to Yamagami, the largest portion was spent on the elder brother of the defendant, who had a severe illness and later died by suicide.

At the end of her testimony on Tuesday, the mother, hidden from the gallery by a partition, defied warnings from the judge and spoke directly to Yamagami, referring to the defendant by his nickname. ¡°Tetchan, I¡¯m sorry,¡± she reportedly said.

The defendant furrowed his brows and stayed silent without looking up, according to Jiji.